In such a vocal and harsh world, there is no place for self-criticism; if you are truly doing something wrong, someone will tell you.
Self-esteem can be a fickle mistress.
One day you are standing so proudly that you feel like the tallest person in the world, but then the next day you seem so short that you swear you could see the underside of a stool if you tried. Nothing has changed between then and now, and yet you can’t help but bully yourself into a corner. But why?
A life lived in constant fear of your own self-esteem is not a life lived at all, instead, you should focus on how you can improve your own opinion of yourself — as there is no one that can do it for you; not that they should have to, either.
How To Improve Self Esteem by Learning To Eliminate Self-Criticism
Brené Brown speaks about the existence of two types of self-criticism — guilt and shame-based reactions; a guilty reaction implies that you are in control of your life, and is a responsible way to approach shortcomings and failures. After all, it is through this very mechanism that we learn to improve and adapt.
However, shame-based reactions exist purely to diminish your self-worth. It is a destructive response to a natural occurrence; no one is perfect and yet you still strive to be every single day. Instead of thinking “I am so stupid for forgetting to prepare my notes”, start trying “That is something I will have to remember for next time”. Once you start reframing your responses to your failures, you will stop fearing them.
In such a vocal and harsh world, there is no place for self-criticism, because if you are truly doing something wrong, someone will tell you.
How To Improve Self Esteem by Paying Attention to the Good Things
If the last method was about minimising self-criticism, then this one is all about maximising self-kindness. You do amazing things every day, even if you don’t realise it at the time — you just have to rebalance your metrics of success.
If your self-esteem has taken quite a hit recently and you’re struggling to feel like yourself, then don’t judge today’s actions against yesterdays peaks, instead, focus on what improvements you’ve made since then. Did the bed get made yesterday? Because if it didn’t, doing it today is already a win that you can knock off the list with little effort.
But it doesn’t just stop at your recent accomplishments, you are the sum of your actions — and not just the ones you can remember. Take time to write down everything that you are proud of doing; if you do this regularly, you will have an entire encyclopedia of reasons to feel better about yourself.
Low Self-Esteem Is Often A Symptom Of A Related Issue
It is no secret that confidence is one of the key metrics to higher self-esteem, but what you might not know is that there are dozens of other factors that can affect it. Depression and anxiety have been linked to low levels of self-confidence and self-esteem, so much so that they are often regarded as major contributing factors in a large number of cases.
However, evaluating your feelings and emotions can be difficult and it is unwise to self-diagnose yourself in any capacity, therefore seeking professional help is often essential in indicating to you where your self-esteem issues may be originating from.
Your Life, Your Health, Your Self-Esteem
These issues plague millions of people every day, but with help, you can learn to mitigate them, and in some circumstances even overcome them. But if you do, remember that life has an unfortunate tendency to throw curveballs and if you find yourself losing a little of what you have earned, understand that everything you are feeling is natural and expected — time will return your confidence to you just like it built it in the first place.